


by the pricking of my thumbs

by helsinkibaby



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, mention of past one night stand, spoilers for ep 3.06 "Shade"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 04:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8607364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helsinkibaby/pseuds/helsinkibaby
Summary: After Caitlin's secret emerges, Joe talks to her.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For the one million words Shakespeare titles weekend challenge.   
> "By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes"

Joe was on his way out of STAR Labs, heading back to the precinct, his head full of Alchemy and Wally and SWAT team formations when a movement ahead of him caught his eye, stopped him in his tracks. It was so quick that he'd almost have thought he'd imagined it if it hadn't been for the soft snick of a door closing, almost as if the person had seen him coming, precoccupied with his thoughts, and ducked inside, closing the door stealthily in the hopes they wouldn't be noticed. 

There was only one person who'd act like that right now and that knowledge made him remember that, hard as it might be for his dad-brain to accept, there were more people than Wally to be concerned about right now. 

He knew Caitlin was mad, knew she probably wanted to be alone. 

He walked to the office and knocked on the door anyway. 

He didn't wait for a reply, opened the door and stepped inside, closing it quickly behind him. As expected, Caitlin was sitting on a swivel chair, her face pale, her eyes red rimmed. "I didn't think you saw me," she said quietly and he shrugged, leaning back against the door. 

"I almost didn't," he admitted. Then, tilting his head, he added, "I think that's been a theme for us lately." 

Caitlin's smile was sad, but it was there. "You've been busy," she said, her tone light, almost too light. "With Cecile." For once, the mention of his kinda-sorta-maybe girlfriend's name didn't make Joe want to grin like some lovesick idiot. "She's really nice, by the way. I like her." 

As she spoke, he noticed her smile wasn't quite reaching her eyes, and Joe chose to ignore her words, concentrate on what she'd said earlier, in the cortex. "What did you mean? That you're going to have to leave soon?" 

At the words, Caitlin's shoulders slumped and she joined her hands in her lap, clasped them together so tightly that her knuckles turned white. "Isn't it obvious?" 

"Not to me." He pushed away from the door, crossed the room and sat down on the desk beside her chair. This close, he could see her shoulders trembling, could almost feel the fear radiating from her. "So, you have powers. Seems like everyone does these days." 

It was a poor attempt at humour but it surprised a humourless laugh from her. "Not like these." 

He didn't understand, didn't pretend to. "So you have cold powers." They were her words, chosen deliberately because he knew, or thought he did, what she was afraid of. "That doesn't mean you're going to turn into Killer Frost, any more than Cisco's going to turn into Reverb, any more than I'm gonna hand in my badge and gun and become a lounge singer." She looked at him sharply then, like she was surprised he knew the names, the details. Like Barry could keep a secret to save himself. "Those people on Earth-2, they weren't us. They aren't us. Powers don't make you evil, Caitlin. Life does... and you're one of the best people I know." 

Her eyes sparkled with tears as she tilted her head back and looked away from him. "You don't understand," she whispered. "When I use them... properly use them... I can feel her... inside me. Her anger, her hate..." Too late he remembered that she'd actually met her doppelgänger, talked with her, interacted with her, planned an escape from Zoom's lair with her before seeing her killed. What must it be like, he wondered, to see yourself die, albeit a wildly different version of yourself. "She's getting stronger all the time... and I'm scared of what I'll do..." She stopped, covered her lips with her hand. "Joe, if I hurt someone..."

"That's what I mean." His hand reached out, closed over her knee. He was barely aware of the motion, only realised it when her head turned and looked down, when one of her tears - ice cold, he noted - dropped on his skin. "You're a good person, Caitlin... you could never hurt anyone." 

She pressed her lips together. "I wish I could believe that." 

"You can. Cisco, Barry..." Her lips pressed tighter together and he tried to ignore the shiver that ran up her spine. "You know they'd do anything to help you figure this out. You're not in this alone, you know that." 

"That's worse." He blinked at that, sure his surprise was written all over his face. "What if I hurt someone I care about... Barry, Cisco, Iris..." A pause, another glance at his hand, still resting on her knee. "You?" That last was said softer, in a way he hadn't heard her say his name in over a year. Memories of a night that he'd tried very hard to forget - not from want, but from need, from a sense of self-preservation, from knowing it was fruitless to wish for impossible things - rushed back to him and he swallowed hard, feeling as if the earth was tilting precariously beneath his feet. 

His fingers flexed on her knee, moved an inch higher before he caught himself. "You wouldn't hurt me." His voice sounded husky, even to his own ears. 

Caitlin's shiver when he spoke was visible and she turned her head slowly, very slowly, to meet his gaze. Her eyes were dark, dilated, just as they'd been in the bar that night when he'd stopped off for one and found her having drinks with her new Mercury Labs workmates. It had been four months since the singularity, four months since Ronnie had died, four months since Barry had been anything like himself and they'd been drawn to one another like magnets, each seemingly relieved to have someone they could talk to who understood. 

Of course, he noted, the talking hadn't been the problem. 

It was what had happened when they stopped talking that had changed everything. 

Or rather, hadn't. 

Because they'd been very grown up about it, ridiculously so. Blamed the alcohol, the circumstances, chalked it up to one of those things and gone back to their everyday lives. When she'd come back to STAR Labs, they'd never mentioned it and then Francine had come back and Iris had hated him and he'd been trying to get to know Wally, and she'd had Jay. Their one night together had rapidly faded from his consciousness and there were times when he wondered if it was all a dream, some crazy Flashpoint bleed over that had taken root in his memory. 

This was not one of those times. 

"Do you ever think about it?" She froze as the words hung between them, crimson colouring her cheeks. "I shouldn't have asked that, I'm sorry, you're with Cecile, it's not appropriate..." 

"Sometimes." One word stopped her, or maybe it was the way he took her hand in his. "I don't know what Cecile and I will be... if we'll be anything. But... Yeah. Sometimes I look at you and I wonder what might have happened if things were different... if all this..." He waved his hand in the air and he knew she understood when she smiled wanly. "...had never happened." 

"If we'd been just two people who met at a bar and went home together one night?" Her eyes were dreamy suddenly, like she was imagining it, a soft smile playing around her lips. She looked beautiful, he thought, and not for the first time, he found himself imagining it too. "All those Earths out there... you think there's one where that happened?" 

"If there is..." He raised their joined hands to his lips, kissed her knuckles. "I hope that Joe knows how lucky he is."

Caitlin's smile was distinctly watery. "I hope that Caitlin does too." 

He held her hand, held her gaze, for a moment longer. "Just... just stick around, OK?" He couldn't help with the science, this was all he could ask of her. "I know you're scared, and I get that... but you have people who love you. Friends who can help you. Who'd miss you." He squeezed her hand at that, hoping she'd understand who he meant with most of that. 

A single tear traced a path down her cheek. "Thank you," she whispered and he didn't think twice about pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly, kissing the top of her head as he promised her it was going to be all right. 

But as he felt the cold radiate from her body, where previously he remembered warmth, he wondered if it would be.


End file.
